Dear Syan...

Dear Syan,

Our story begins in the 8th grade. I remember we had a weird elective together; nothing huge. We got paired to work on a project together. This project happened to be a competition- needless to say, we won.

When I first heard you say “I’m Syan,” I thought your name would be just another passing name like the hundreds of kids I came in contact with every day. I was never an outgoing kid. I never sought out friendships, they just came to me naturally. But you wanted to be my friend. Every time you saw me in the hall after that you always said “Hi Kiara.” And I was always so confused since I didn’t know you well. I was so quiet at that time. I always kept to myself, so I wasn’t used to this. Little did I know that you and I would be friends for years beyond that.

When I got to high school, I was so excited to try out for the drill team, and guess who was right there trying out next to me? This was it. This was when our true friendship began. Throughout our high school experience, your name became one that I considered when I thought of my best friends; along with a few others.

You were someone I could gossip with, be a complete idiot with, have fun with, and even cry over the dumbest things with. I know that’s something all of your friends appreciated about you. Your acceptance of every side of all of the people you cared about was something unique about you.

We became two peas in a pod through high school. Two people that were not usually seen without the other, especially down the halls of JROTC where we were always together- and I mean ALWAYS. We saw each other every day, we practiced together every day. We competed together, we rode busses together. When I got a car, I drove you home almost every day. We laughed about nothing every day, and even complained about our annoying teachers every day. I wish I had appreciated these times so much more, I really do. Because these times were the times where our friendship was so authentic and so effortless. You were a light for me and so many others around you; and maybe you didn’t even realize it. Always laughing, always joking; even when things were supposed to be serious.

We graduated high school and the foolishness sure did continue. In college, we would cram for finals and leave all of our homework for the last minute, only to “study” together for hours and get absolutely nothing done. We’d skip class to go to the food court and stress about school. Talk about how life had changed and what we had dreams of for the future. You had so much life ahead of you.

I remember so many small things that brought me happiness in its time. I remember how you couldn’t pronounce “Edgar.” I remember when you were failing all of your classes but kept trying to convince us that “you got this.” I remember our sleepovers at Tatiana’s house, which were always an entire mess. I remember when we got forced to wear those hideous t-shirts because we broke the dress code.

When I heard the news of your passing my life was completely shattered. I couldn’t even wrap my head around what had happened. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember calling everyone and crying for hours on the phone. None of us could believe that you were no longer with us.

You have been missed so much this past year. This is just my experience with you. And it’s not even the half of what I could write, but I know that there are so many other people with stories just like mine with you. You were such a light in all of our lives. You were the go-to friend when we needed a laugh, the life of the party. The pick me up we always needed when things got hard; even though you had your own things to deal with. I think I speak for all of us when I say: Thank You. Your time with us was cut so short, but you left a lasting impression on everyone you knew.

I know you’re probably somewhere telling me to stop crying and stop being dramatic, but the reality is that this pain is one that will not go away. It may simmer down, but it will always be there.

Childhood friends and experiences are never forgotten.

Childhood friends and experiences are what shape you as a person.

I am so very blessed that you have been a part of mine.

Thank you for the memories. You will forever live through all of us.


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